All these things that I've done

Oh, my. I've been meaning to get back to the blog for quite a while now. It has been a crazy summer, full of highs, lows, and everything in between. As I write this post right now, I'm on an airplane on my way to Madison, Wisconsin to witness, volunteer, and cheer on a friend at Ironman Wisconsin; as such, it seems like the most appropriate time to get back to the blog and update you all dear readers (hopefully there are still a few out there who are wondering what in the heck happened to me!) on what has been going on since I last updated the blog back in, gulp, May!

First, let me extend an apology. I know that many of you used my blog to keep in contact with me as I train towards my goals. I do apologize for going dark, and while there are no excuses, there are reasons that we'll get into about what happened. But I'm back and I will be making a much more diligent effort to keep the blog updated.

The title of this post is from one of my favorite songs that is in my playlist for when I'm out running, or doing my best imitation of running. Part of the reason that I'm coming back to this blog is because I want to acknowledge what I have done so far. When I started this journey, I was just coming off of yet another major orthopedic procedure on my ankle, I was extremely overweight, and I was darn miserable in my own brain. But I made a goal and a pact with myself to turn this thing around. That was in July of 2012. Here we are now in the very beginning of September of 2013, basically about 14 months into my journey in becoming a triathlete.

At the end of a recent race, I took a look back and decided to objectively evaluate what I had accomplished after a tough race in which very little went to plan and I was feeling unsettled. After I did, I realized that while I remain looking forward to the goals that are in front of me, it is wise and well for me to turn around and look at the distance I've come. So, here is that list:

• I've run 5 5K races
• I've run a 8K road race
• I've run a 10K road race
• I've run a 10K trail race
• I've run a 12K road race - Bloomsday including running up Doomsday hill! (mostly running it)
• I've completed an indoor triathlon
• I've completed a sprint triathlon
• I've completed an Olympic distance triathlon
• I've swam an ironman course twice (all 2.4 miles)
• I've swam across Lake Washington (2.56 miles)

And nothing in that list covers all of the miles, milestones, and achievements that I've done just in training. Oh, yeah - and there is one other little thing to add to that list.

• I've lost right about 145 pounds (it fluctuates a bit during this peak training I've seen)

So, if I'm fair to myself and turn around and look at where I've come in such a short time. That is something to be proud of.

It's a summer that has not been without it's challenges either, both physical and mental. The physical challenges have been with my back, my Achilles, and still with the ankle. It seems that for a while we were playing round robin with which ailment would limit me in training. The ankle has been up and down, but for the most part we are now in the stage of it being better. However, I've developed a case of Achilles tendonitis which has yet to go away completely. It comes from having muscle imbalances in my calf and lower leg from walking uneven for so long.  Then I tweaked my back a couple of weeks ago and it kept me laid up with limited workouts for a couple of weeks. These are things that can happen in training and I will learn to have to deal with them as I ramp from here to a full Ironman event. That doesn't mean that it isn't frustrating!

The mental challenges have been the worse. There have truly been some dark moments as I trained this summer. There is a significant lack of confidence that flows through me and it reared it's ugly head in a big way during this summer. I have been incredibly lucky that I have been surrounded by so many excellent training partners and friends, and then most of all my understanding wife who have helped me, listened to me, given me advice, and just generally thrown me a life preserver when I've needed it.

Recently, this weekend, I finally put a finger on what has been eating at my self confidence and made me doubt, at times, that I could compete and finish some of these races that I've selected for myself. Ultimately, what it boiled down to is that I didn't feel like I was good enough or as talented enough as the people I admire and respect, and so I didn't see that I could do the things that they have. Well, you know what - I do have talent and I can do this. I may not be as fast as many of them. I may not be as experienced as many of them. But I've put in the training time. I work hard. I try my best. As I have also been reminded by my coach and by many of these people, I have a lot of heart and I've been told by many of them that the find me to be an inspiration. So, why do I think I'm not as good as them? A lot of it comes from my youth in which I never really had anyone tell me that I was good enough to do this sort of thing, or never was really encouraged to be proud of what I can do or have done.

That last little bit probably requires some explaining because I still find it challenging. I often have a hard time with pride because I was discouraged from it because I was told it would be found to be arrogant. As I'm learning that isn't true. Sure, pride can turn arrogant. Pride doesn't mean that you aren't humble as well. There is a line between pride and arrogance and I have to learn that it's ok to zfeel a little more pride, well, more than zero. Pride lets you believe in yourself, believe in your worth, believe in your capabilities. If I never feel pride in myself, I will always put limits in front of me.

I'm getting some assistance now in working through all of these things and I think it is beginning to work. This past weekend, for the first time, I think I truly believe I'm going to make it in Miami for my half ironman. That's not to say it will be easy. It won't be (sure would be great if it was!). But, I will cross the finish line and even if it's a DLF, I can still be proud of it. How many people can say that they've done the things that I've done in the last 14 months? How many people can say that they've toed the line of a half ironman and finished? And then gone on to sign up for a full Ironman? I will never be a gazelle, but just because I'm not a gazelle doesn't mean I'm not an accomplished athlete.

Are there still challenged to be faced? Demons to be slayed? Kraken to be defeated? (Ok, that last one comes from a comic about running from The Oatmeal (http://theoatmeal.com/comics/running)). Yes, Yes, and sure why not? My weight has crept back up a little bit, but as I've been told by my coach and medical professionals and others, this can be expected during the height of training because it's hard to feed the body for the level of intensity that I am doing and as well, there are likely body composition issues going on. I will get through it, but also I am not a number. I am not defined by what the scale says. I am more than that.

So, moving on from the mental games that have been plaguing me this summer...

My Ironman target has moved. I was originally going to do Ironman Wisconsin next year, but instead a bunch of friends and teammates have organized around doing Ironman Arizona next year instead. It's why I'm on a plane headed to Madison right now as I was going to volunteer and register for it this year. However, It looks like that at last count there is likely 7 or 8 of us that will be racing Arizona that day. I was the only one looking at Wisconsin for next year and the thought of having a huge chunk of the team there encouraging each other and sharing in the trials and tribulations of training for the same event is far, far too enticing to pass up. I'm almost giddy with excitement about being able to train and race with all of these people that have become so much more than teammates to me. They've truly become my friends.

So that means I'll be volunteering at both Ironman Wisconsin and Ironman Arizona this year. And that's OK. I truly will get to drink in the experience, learn from it (much as I did when I went to the Vineman 70.3 to cheer on my friend Krista), and really get amped up to reach for that goal. On top of which I get to cheer on teammates who are competing at both events as Jen is at IM WI and Eileen is at IM AZ.

I'm back ... I will be more frequent and I will be posting a few catch-up entries here over the next few days to catch people up on some of my races and where we are at in training for Ironman Miami which is now just 52 days away from today. And soon, I hope, nay will, be sharing in the moment that I will cross the finish line triumphant in beautiful downtown Miami as I achieve step one in a life time of new goals and achievements.

The buffalo continues to roam, and thanks for coming along for the ride.

Confidence

This is an old post that has been sitting in my drafts folder for a while. I debated deleting it, but I thought maybe it might help someone else out there who has the same fears that I've have struggled with and maybe they can look at this and see that, yes, you can have these fears and continue on.

Since I originally wrote this, I am in a better place than I was. I did have a chat with my coach and let a lot of these fears I'd been sitting on and letting stew, and just got them off my chest through a mini-meltdown while I was at tri-camp. Some of my confidence issues I think were completely nutritionally related as we have spent some time looking at nutrition and realized that I've been way under my calorie needs as my training ramped up and my brain basically went into meltdown mode because I was starving it. But it also helped to voice it and get it out there.

As you read this, I am in a better place, training is picking up and I'm rebuilding some confidence that I had broken. I'm still on track for my goals and I still have the most wonderful wife, friends, and training group. It will get better. Sometimes you have to find the bottom before you know which way is actually up.

(More after the original post)

---

I struggled with deciding to post this to my blog or not. I'm sure people out there are probably tired of me being up and and down. I'm sorry, I'm really trying to stay positive and stay up, but it's where I'm at. If you continue to read, I appreciate your time.

There are many things in life that I have an excess of. I would gladly trade some of those things for some confidence.

Ah, my mortal enemy ... self-confidence.

What is the most terrifying phrase to me, from an athletic / training point of view? It's very simple and just three letters long:
D N F

That phrase literally can wake me up at night with terror. Right now, I'm suffering from one of those bouts again. Maybe it's just nerves before I go for a training swim today. I'm certainly not afraid of the water. It's not that I'm afraid something bad will happen to me, it's terror that I'll be so slow that they'll pull me from the race. I'm afraid that when I get into the water and go for a swim tonight that I'll come out having swam so slow that the pace would show I won't make the cut-off. Yikes.

I know I'm making progress. I had a good weekend. The bike went well, from a training perspective, and the brick run was good. The 10K was good for a first trail run. So what has me spooked?

I don't know the exact cause. Maybe because when I start to gain confidence, then I look around me and realize I'm a long way from being a triathlete. I haven't proven that I can do this. So then the questions start in my mind ... something along the lines of "what makes you think you can do this?"

I found a quote today (and posted it on Facebook already) that seems so true:

"I think all the time that other people have more confidence in me, than I do in myself"

The time limit in Miami is 8 hours from the last wave and then there are intermediate cut offs for each leg. I fear each of those cut offs because, outside of the swim, I have little to no confidence that I won't be the last one out there, all alone, with people impatiently tapping their foot waiting for me to get the heck off the course so they can go home.

And probably even larger, I've been sitting on a fear of letting the people around me down if I fail. At the top of my list is my wife. I fear letting her down because she's invested her life in me and she has been willing to live with me as I go around the training merry-go-round and, heck, she put up with me through all of these orthopedic surgeries so that I can try and complete an Ironman.

I'm afraid of letting down my coach - I know I'm probably not the easiest of her athletes as I've got quite a few challenges in training between just being heavy, having run issues because of injuries, and I'm just not very good at this (yet). She has put in a lot of effort and time with me and I'm truly afraid that with all she has given me in terms of knowledge, effort, and motivation that I will have wasted it all if I DNF. I really don't want to let her down.

There there are all of my friends and training partners who have lent me advice and support and been there for all of the times that I've needed help. How do I look them in the eye if I DNF? How do I not feel like I've wasted their time on me. How do I not let them down?

As you can see, it's going to be a challenge for a bit here ... This DNF thing scares me and I just don't know how to cope.

---

I'm back in the present tense now. :)

Am I still afraid of a DNF, yes. But it doesn't keep me up at night now. Even the pros have a DNF from time to time. Ironman (even a half) is a serious event and things can go wrong that are totally out of your control. I cannot worry about those. All I can do is log the workouts, put in the miles, and put in the effort and be as ready as I can be. If I do, then I have given myself every opportunity to succeed. Also, having actually sat down and talked with family and friends about my fears about letting them down, they have universally told me that even if the worst were to happen and I DNF'd, there is no way that I would let them down (one of my friends told me that I'm her inspiration / hero - there's something about that which can bring a lump to my throat to think that I can inspire someone like that). They have all reminded me how far I've come in such a short time. Some of the best words said to me talked about my heart and my determination. The only way I could let them down would be to quit trying. And that isn't going to happen.

To wrap this up - if you're out there and you're reading this and you feel like I did when I originally wrote this, then please take one piece of advice. Talk to someone about it. You may find that getting those fears out in the open and talking them through with someone may actually make them not so scary any more. A support system is huge, be it small or be it large. My coach once told me that we all need someone to lean on from time to time and it's absolutely true. Find that person, or people, and talk about it. Festering on a lack of self-confidence feeds it (or at least it did for me). Thus endeth the speech. :)

And the race calendar gets fuller...

Well, I've taken further steps towards getting myself ready for Ironman Wisconsin next year. Yep, my race selection for my full Ironman is basically locked now. So much so, that I'm also going out to Wisconsin this fall to volunteer at IMWI and get a feel for what I've gotten myself into! It'll be fun, plus I think there is at least one person that I know racing in Wisconsin this year, so I can go cheer them on too!

But we've also started to fill in the race calendar for more stepping stones to my "A" race this year in Miami and just a few other things for fun...

Event	Date	Race Type
Spokane River Run	4/21/2013	10K Trail Run
Bloomsday	5/5/2013	12 K Run
Chelan Camp	5/17/2013	Triathlon Camp
Issaquah Triathlon	6/1/2013	Sprint Distance Triathlon
Canada Camp	6/26/2013	Triathlon Camp
ChelanMan	7/21/2013	Olympic Distance Triathlon
Twilight Zone Terror Run	10/5/2013	10 Mile Run (Walt Disney World)
Ironman Miami 70.3	10/27/2013	Half-Ironman Distance Triathlon - "A" Race
Walt Disney World Marathon	1/12/2014	Marathon
Ironman Wisconsin		Ironman Distance Triathlon (Sep 2014) - "A" Race

Ready to rock the trails...

I added this race this week because I wanted to run in an organized race as a symbol of strength, defiance, hope, and so many other emotions after the tragedy of Boston on Monday. Well, here I am in Spokane, doing a 10K trail run.

While this run is certainly a training run for me, I run for those who have lost the ability to run, I run for those that didn't get to finish their dream run, I run for those that were killed, I run for those who were injured, and I run for the Boston Marathon and the city of Boston to show that no two deranged individuals can stop us from living our dreams and coming together as a community.

I may not be running 26.2 tomorrow, but I still run for Boston.

I'm tagged and ready to go!

Race report from Bridges to Brews

And so we have made yet another milestone! I now have a 10K race under my belt. There's a mental thing that I'd be able to call myself a real runner when I'd finished racing a 10K race, and now it's done. It may not have been the smoothest or best 10K ever, but it's done now and now I can really feel like a runner. Of course, as my coach and friends have reminded me, I've been a runner now for a while. But, it still feels good to clear that mental barrier away. We'll talk about that more later...

So, how did we come to do the Bridges to Brews 10K race? It basically started because my friend Krista and I ended up looking for a run to do after her planned race didn't pan out and I couldn't get into the race that I had looked at as a backup on the same day as her race because it was full. So, I went on a quest to find a race we could do and maybe get a group together to do. In my search, I ended up finding the Bridges to Brews 10K. So, we put together a small group with Krista, me, Lesley, and Jim and made the road trip down to Portland for the weekend to have a fun race. On top of which - free beer is included with your race registration for after the race! How cool is that as a reward?

Yeah, that's the bridge we had to run up and over!

The B2B is a really cool course, but it was certainly more intimidating than it first looked. The race starts from the Widmer brewery on the east side of the Willamette River in Portland and then it immediately climbs up onto the I-205 Fremont Bridge. That's all in the first 1.5 miles. Needless to say, plans A - G on how I wanted to do this race when right out the window. But it turned out that it was OK in the end. Once you climb up onto the bridge deck, they used the lower bridge deck, there's a little bit more of a climb up to the crest of the bridge at around mile 1.5. Almost all of the elevation gain of this course is in the first 1.5 miles, with a little bit more at around mile 6 or so.

Going into the race, my original plan was to run to at least the first aid station non-stop (which was at around mile 2.5). That plan went out the window almost right away. It didn't help that before the race that weekend my ankle went totally wonky. I tried to do a 4 mile training run on the Wednesday before the race and I ended up having to abort it at around mile 2.5 or so and it was just not a happy camper. So it was still a bit tender, but better than it was. However, that really limited my uphill running capability. Not good when that's what you've got for the first 1.5 miles. However, I just did what I could, ran most of it and then got to going.

But after you crest that bridge, you get to go charging down the freeway and into downtown Portland. It makes you feel good to pick up all of that speed! I ran all the down hill and most of the run until about mile 4. Then I made the mistake of not fueling soon enough and I really started to feel worn down and started walking more and running less. As well, I was starting to suffer from serious chafing issues. The good news is that the rain didn't start until I was into mile 5 otherwise I suspect that the chafing issues would have been a lot worse. It was actually a beautiful day even though it was overcast and threatening rain (and actually did rain). Mile 4-5 was brutal. There was an aid station at around mile 4.5 or so. All I can say is whoever, from there had the Shot Bloks, I thank you profusely! I downed those and mile 5 - 6 was over 1:00 m/mi better. It was really a clear indication of what happens when you don't fuel in time. Lesson learned!

Coach Lesley did a huge favor for me and worked her way back on the course to reel me in for just under the last mile. It felt really good to have a little company in that last mile and it really helped me pick it up one more notch all the way to the finish.

So, when I crossed the finish line, I was ahead of my goal and I thought I'd done well. Later I looked at the watch and well, we hit a PR. Now granted this was my first race at this distance, I'd run a 10K before in a training run. I smashed down my PR for 10K, 2 months old, by 3 minutes and 27 seconds. That's a pretty good improvement for just two months.

This was an awesome event, made all the better by the company I had to and from the race. So thanks to Lesley, Krista, and Jim for the excellent weekend and awesome race.

Reflecting on Boston

My original plan was to post the race report from the Bridges to Brews 10K from Portland and catch up on the events of the last week from my training and progress, but given the events of yesterday I felt the need to talk about Boston a little bit. I'll post my catch up tomorrow instead.

The events that happened in Boston on Monday are truly horrific for anyone. For me, maybe it holds a different kind of horror because it's an endurance event that draws big crowds like many that I want to participate in. I could not help but think for a moment about the dread of if that were to happen where I was racing. My heart aches for each and every one of the participants, volunteers, officials, families, residents, and everyone affected by these events. My heart seeks relief for those who are in pain. I wish for speedy recoveries for all those injured and may comfort and peace somehow find those who are touched by those who have been lost.

But that dread and fear has passed and instead is replaced by a level of determination, maybe laced with a little anger. We cannot allow the cowards who attacked innocent people to make us change who we are and what we do. That's not to say we shouldn't take reasonable precautions. Of course, we must. But we cannot allow them to take these kind of events that bring people together from all corners of the world, the country, and our communities. We must mourn the lost and heal the wounded. But let us carry on these events. Let us have more people come out, spectators and competitors. Let us rise from the events of Boston 2013 stronger, faster, more determined. Let the events go on with more runners, more triathletes, more spectators, more everything.

They cannot defeat our spirit. Endurance athletes and those who love us know that these events are about pushing through pain, showing strength in the face of difficulty, and picking up our fellow human beings when they fall or struggle. These are traits that we know and let us use them to lead the way back from this horror.

I have chosen to register and run for a race this weekend to prove to the world that we are not afraid to come together and share the bond of competition, friendship, and comradeship the defines all endurance athletics.

Fundraising update

I think I've finally gotten everything set up!

Just as a reminder for those that may have missed the post a couple of weeks ago. I decided to make this journey back to being a healthy athlete as an opportunity to do more. I'm going to help kick cancer in the teeth. Part of my inspiration for making this journey is a good friend of mine, Christine Evans, who beat back breast cancer after she faced it down. She had nothing but grace, courage, humor, and spirit in the face of such a difficulty. I can only hope that I can show the courage and grace under fire that she has shown in battling this. And so, in her name, and in the name of every other person who faces down this beast called cancer, I am raising funds to put an end or at least put more happy endings to cancer.

My goal is to raise $25 per mile of my half-ironman (roughly $1775).

If you would like to join me in this cause, you can donate online through the following website.

I promise not to pester you through my blog about donating, but if you can - any little bit helps!

Thanks for listening and thanks for helping me give back during this journey.

http://www.crowdrise.com/RacetoIronmanMiamitoBeatCancer/fundraiser/MarkOverby20

Returning from a short hiatus (aka the Death Valley training report)

Whoops! Between a vacation and a busy week last with work and all, there is a lot of things to talk about. There has been good, bad, and just stuff.

Sorry about the delays, but here goes ...

The week before last, I got to spend it in Death Valley with my wonderful wife as a vacation for us, lots of picture taking for her, some picture taking for me, and then just because I'm a nutso aspiring triathlete in training ... I packed up my bike and took it with me for a little road training while I was there.

If you looked at what we packed, you'd think we were moving to Death Valley. No, really, there were only three of us going. :-)

The plan was that I was going to ride twice while I was there for about 17 miles and about 20 miles. I was going to do a couple of runs, and then some hiking around.

Lesson #42 for you in the triathlon playbook ... better be ready with plans L, M, and N because nothing ever goes according to plan A.

Unfortunately, on Monday while we were there I tried to go for a run up in the Panamint Mountains on the west side of Death Valley. I only got about 1.25 miles in before my ankle screamed at me to stop. It can be very insistent that way and when I don't do what it wants, it has a tendency to inflict pain to get my attention. I had to abort the run at that point. Now the good news is that I ran a good 1.25 miles non-stop. You may ask why that is good news? Because:

1. It was non-stop
2. It was at nearly 5000 feet of altitude and my normal runs are at 50 - 200 feet of altitude
3. It was blowing me sideways off the road with a 20 mph wind
4. I tried!

I learned some lessons. I need to look at how swollen my ankle is before I start for a run. A couple of times now that I've had to abort a run, I've noticed significant swelling in the ankle before the run starts. That needs to be a big warning sign. I suspect some of the swelling was from salty foods (lord, do they love their salt in Nevada) and some of it from travel. I also need to start wearing the compression sleeve I bought to keep it in check.

So, let's move on to the bike ride. I rode twice in Death Valley. Once from Furnace Creek to badwater and then from Stovepipe Wells to Furnace Creek. By the way, anyone who tells you Death Valley is flat ... not so much! But they were fun rides. The second ride was a struggle as it was 98 degrees that day and I had a 10 - 15 mph headwind, so I didn't make it all the way to Furnace Creek, but I conquered the big hill that was in between the two and I learned a lot about riding with nasty winds and in high heat. I may not have accomplished all of my goals,

but I look at it this way. I went on vacation, took a bike, rode in the desert, and put in miles I've never put in before. Any way you cut it, I'm making progress!

 Hiking, I didn't do as much of as a liked because the ankle acted up and the rough and uneven terrain really didn't agree with it. So, did I get in as much training as I wanted, no. But I'm still proud and impressed with myself that I did manage to get in the training that I did.

I'm getting better about dealing with adversity in training and my coach has to talk me off of the ledge now less when things go sideways. I'm sure I will continue to learn that every athlete has bumps in the road or workouts that go sideways. :)

This journey is not just about me...

I've been working on something in the background and all of the pieces are almost in place and enough of them are now in place for me to take the wraps off of it and announce it publicly.

I've decided that as part of my training / goals for getting to Ironman Miami 70.3, I am also going to raise funds for a charity that is important to me on many levels. I promise that this blog will not turn into an incessant pestering to donate (and I'm not even set up for donations yet, but I'm close).

I have a dear and close friend of mine that last year was diagnosed with breast cancer less than a year ago. Her name is Christine. I don't know how I would react if I were ever diagnosed with a cancer like that. However, all I can say is that I hope that I could react and be as courageous as she has been. I remember her telling me once that if this was all that her body could throw at her, she says "bring it". I won't detail what she went through, but she had multiple surgeries and never once did I see her crack, well other than crack a smile. She is a true inspiration of mine. She has courage, humor, strength in quantities that I can only hope that I have as well. During this whole procedure and recovery, she kept in contact with me during my recovery from my last ankle surgery and gave me words of encouragement and strength when what I was facing was nothing near that. She is recovering and is now without cancer. I wish I could do justice to how much courage and grace she has shown, but words can never do it.

Cancer has woven a fabric into my life through friends and relatives with some surviving and some not. But either way, it feels like it has been a shadow that lurks around too many corners and I see too many people I care about being ambushed by it.

So today, I say enough!
I posted a quote yesterday about what doesn't kill me, had better start running? Well, I'm twisting that slightly today.

Whatever attacks my friends, had better start running. Cancer, I'm looking at you.

I started down the journey to Miami for myself, to make myself healthier, fit, and achieve personal goals. And I still have and intend to do all of these things. But I want to make this more than just about me, I want my desire to become and Ironman keep someone else healthy, cancer free, or help them beat the monster in the shadows. Christine has inspired me that it's time for us to beat this thing once and for all, so I am going to raise money for the defeat of cancer in her name. I'm racing for Christine and every other man and woman who has ever faced cancer down (successfully or unsuccessfully). Christine, thank you for showing all of us how to face down the demons of life with courage, grace, and humor.

So, to that end - I'm setting a goal of raising a minimum of $25 per mile of my half Ironman to fund cancer treatment and research through the American Cancer Society in her name. So I'm setting a goal to raise at least $1775 (I rounded up) dollars for this cause. I will be setting up a donation site very shortly that you can go to contribute if you'd like to help me raise the money for this effort. I promise I won't pester you readers often with a request, but if you can - anything will help.

Thanks for listening, and thanks in advance for helping making my 2nd act in life something larger and more important than just getting healthy, fit, and becoming and Ironman  Let's work together to get someone else cured and across the finish line.

Am I a runner now?

The answer is a most emphatic yes.

Exhibit A: A nice steady run cadence

I, for the first time, ran more than a mile non-stop. But it gets better, I ran more than two miles non-stop. But wait, there's more, if you order now, you can get an additional .31 miles. I went 2.31 miles non-stop to the hill where we were running hill repeats last night. I've never done this before (I think I'm repeating myself now), but it still amazes me. I've been able to cover longer distances with a combination of walk and run, but this is the first significant distance that I did as an all run. I know that even walk/run I was still running, but now I feel like I've joined the runners club for the first time as a full member.

Before I go too much further I have to thank three very special people; for without them, I could not have accomplished what I have. Juanita, my wife - without her support and without her encouragement on some of the darker days that I have zero confidence in myself, it would be an order of magnitude more difficult to pull off what I'm doing. To Coach Lesley and to Krista - I know I've thanked you both already elsewhere, but you deserve a shout out here too. These two wonderful and inspiring women kept me going when I felt tired and believed that I could do it last night. The value of surrounding yourself with people who believe in you cannot be underestimated.

Was my pace fast, no. Am I setting land speed records, no. Do I need to be running this slow for a little while, (wait coach, I got this one) yes. But most of all I feel like a runner in my own mind. Was I a runner before, yes. I just didn't believe it in my heart until I look at that chart and see that with the exception of the hill repeat drills, and crossing the street and getting back onto the trail towards the back 1/3 - that was all running.

I don't want to be full of myself, but I feel like this is a time to actually be proud of myself. This has been a good week so far. I dropped another five pounds and I've dropped a total of 112 now. I rode the longest I've ever ridden on the trainer inside and it really didn't bother me. I ran over 3 miles non-stop.

This is my time, this is my year, this is the moment in which I will seize the opportunity in front of me and rise up to new heights. There will be hits, there will be challenges, but each time I get knocked down, I will rise again stronger and more determined than before. For each of us can be more than our past, more than our weaknesses, more than our limitations, more than often what we believe we can be. For with belief, comes courage. With will, comes determination. With dedication, comes inspiration. See success in your own mind. There will be work, there will be tears, there will be joy. But most of all, there will be you on the other side with the memories, the everlasting knowledge that you chose to believe in yourself and go beyond your walls, break down the barriers, and be more than you thought.

I confess I struggle with these ideals, but that in itself is part of what I strive for. I strive for success being measured by me believing these things and believing that I am good. I may never be elite, and that's ok. I may fall short of a goal here or there, and that's ok - for I had the courage to put it out there and toe the line.

I'll leave you tonight with two final thoughts. My friend Krista sent me a quote that I now keep on my computer to remind myself from time to time:

"The miracle isn't that I finished. The miracle is that I had the courage to start." - John Bingham

And I leave you with this as well:

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? ... Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. ... It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." -- From the movie Coach Carter

I hope someone reading this who may not believe that they can tackle their goals or reach for new heights realizes that you can. I hope that I can inspire you to believe in yourself. To all of my friends out there who are striving for goals - each and every one of you ... I believe in you.

Ok, I'm putting it out there

I know that I haven't finished my half yet, but I'm going to put my next big goal out there. I've talked with a few close friends about this, but here it is...

I've decided that I'm racing Ironman Wisconsin in 2014.
Oh, boy - it's out there now. Me and Black Beauty through the hills of Wisconsin.
Scary, but it'll be great.

I'm also going out to volunteer this year to get the IM experience, cheer on my fellow teammates who are racing IM WI this year, and register as early as possible for next year.

"Dream Big
Aim High
Even believe you can fly
Give it your all
Let the game begin"

Tough week, good and bad

Whew, what a week.

From a training perspective this was a week with a pretty good load and I had the highs and the lows, but I also ended up with some great lessons learned.

On the high side, I got a great bike ride in on Friday where my coach, my friend Krista, and I all circled Mercer Island. That's a fun ride because once you get onto east Mercer Island Way, it's pretty non-stop for 11 miles or so with no stop lights, no crosswalks, nothing. It's great. It's a bit hilly, nothing serious except for the final hill back to the parking lot when I actually ran out of climbing gears :). But what isn't hilly in Seattle!

This was a fun course that was made even better by riding with good friends that brought me along and really made me feel comfortable. Here's the important thing to me, even though I'm not the strongest, fastest, fittest, or best athlete - these friends and my coach really make me feel that I'm part of the collective and even though I would have understood if they dropped me back, they didn't. On top of which, my coach gave me a lot of awesome tips while she was watching me ride. My cadence needs to come up some, but I'm still learning to shift with the terrain as needed. I actually kept it up for a good chunk of the time. Definitely need to work on smooth shifting on the larger hills when I'm going from the big chain ring to the little one. That's just practice - of which I should be able to get a lot on Mercer Island. I did love the one moment when I was up at about 32 mph ... to be fair, it was a big downhill.

Also on the upside, I recovered nicely from the 408K and I'm pretty good with how that race turned out.

On the personal side, it was an crazy travel week. I came home on Monday, got some biking in on the trainer, then Wednesday I made a day trip down to San Jose. I was schedule for a 3 mile non-stop run. I did actually take running clothes in my laptop bag and went for a run at lunch. I did not get the 3 miles non-stop in. I did, however, cover my first mile non-stop. That's a good milestone. It didn't go to plan after that for a lot of reasons - weather (warmer than I'm used to), fatigue, and just general fitness that still needs to be built.

I was really down in the dumps after I didn't achieve my goal. Thankfully, I have some excellent friends and my coach really picked me up. This was a classic case of me being way too hard on myself and getting wrapped around the axle. I thinking I'm narrowing in on what drives that, but I'll get that in a future post.

I'm better now about my performance on Wednesday, but that was a good bump in the road. Thankfully that bike ride on Friday really made me feel a lot better about how the week went.

And then there was today. I was schedule for a 6.25 mile run, but I had to pull out at mile 3. My ankle just refused to loosen up and allow me to really run with a normal gait. I recognized it as I was coming down through Cowen Park. When I got to the water stop at mile 3, I just made a decision that it was a bad idea to continue (I was encouraged to make that decision as well, but I was headed that way regardless). This was a tipping point in which I could have gone either way; down the road of disappointment or letting it go. This time, I've let it go, at least mostly. Am I disappointed, sure. Am I crushed, no. I never want to give up on a workout, but I'd rather give up on a workout than risk an injury that could keep me out of a race. This was a tough week and my body just didn't have it in me. And that's ok, well mostly ok. I'm still me, after all.

The week isn't over, but I think it's been OK. I think the lessons learned (I'll talk about some of those in the future) will be valuable...

The 408K Race Report

Here we go... Warning to my readers out there, this is going to be a breakdown of the race and may be quite boring if you're not into the details. I will have more than just a break down of the race in here, but I thought I should issue that disclaimer.


Another view of the data...

So, here we go.

The positives:

• I ran over 50% of the course by time (which means it was probably well over 50% of the distance, but I haven't figure out how to slice and dice the data in training peaks or garmin to pull that data out - I may write a script to extract it from the XML directly).
• Fueling during the race was much better.
• The minor hills didn't bother me.
• The ankle did fine.
• I didn't finish dead last in either my age group or overall. :-)
• Depending on how much I trust the Hot Chocolate run data where I lost the GPS because I was in the 99 tunnel, I may have had my fastest mile.

The negatives:

• Pacing, pacing, pacing. Yeesh. Coach even gave me the virtual head slap before the race to go slow. And here I thought I was going slow bobbing and weaving through the crowds at the start. They had three corrals and I was in corral C. The cool people are always at the back, right? My goal was to run around a 1:00:00 - 1:05:00. I finished at 1:06:36. Not far off, but if I had done a better job of pacing I would have ended in my goal range. I did have to stop and tie my shoe at mile 1, so let's just say I lost 30 seconds there.
• I need to work on pre-race jitters - I slept horribly the night before. That'll come with experience, I'm sure.

The "it just is" list:

• Weather! Interesting race - started off at 42 degrees and was nearly 60 by the end - that mucked with things a bit. I did notice as the temperature climbed, my pace slowed. That is by far the warmest I've run in yet.
• Water stations are amusing - I think I got more on me than in me.

Ok, so after all of that - how did I feel about the race? I think I'm OK with it. I'm trying not to look at this result too cynically or too hard because I do know that things are good and again, if I look at where I was 8 months ago, it was a much different (and not so good) world. I'm still struggling with calling myself a runner. I know that taking a walk break during a run is somewhat accepted. There are even major marathon training plans that call for it, but I still have this image in my mind of what running should be and I'm not there yet. Mentally, I know it's the right thing to do. Emotionally, not so much.

I am proud of the fact that this is the longest race distance I have done yet. I had only ever done one 5K race and one sprint triathlon before I started up this training and now I've gone beyond that in a short amount of time. I've done 4 5K races, 1 8K race, and I've got a 12K race that is only 7 weeks away. I'm also poking around looking for a 10K race before that.

Race complete!

I finished. Analysis to come soon, but I think I'm happy with the way it went. I didn't quite run as much as I wanted, but it was still good and I wasn't last in my age group or overall. :)

The first big check box going down!

(Note, I apologize in advance, this was supposed to be a short post and it's turned into a novella)

We've arrived at the first big event of my race calendar. Even though this is just an 8K (5 miles), this is the first even I registered for during my planning of how to get from where I was to Miami this year. I registered for this last fall and it feels like the signature event to tell me that I truly have a racing season and that racing season is now underway. Completing this will also make me feel like I've accomplished a long goal.

It's been a long recovery and even as I get ready to get a good nights sleep before the race, I have to be excited for what I've managed to accomplish so far. I've defied what people told me when I was in the hospital last July. I've defied what some people expected when they saw how large I was, how bad my health had become, and just where I started from. I've defied that voice in my head that said you can't do this.

This race is a big deal for me - it's longer than a 5K (which is still a race) and it feels like I've moved up. Even before my ankle and everything else went sideways, I had never done anything longer than a 5K and now I have (or will have by tomorrow morning).

Admittedly, I still have a fair distance to go and a lot of training before I can cover that 70.3 or 140.6 miles, but this is a big deal for me. I put a race on the calendar months in advance with a goal to train for it. I did, and I'm here. I will race tomorrow and while I'm sure I will be relatively low in my age group, it doesn't matter because I will finish. I will end the day with my head held high and with the pride that goes with knowing that I put my goals out there and I lived up to them. Not only lived up to them, but used them as a spring board to bigger and better things.

I had dinner with some friends, who are running the 408K with me, last night that I hadn't seen in many months (since late summer last year) and both of them were amazed (and told me so) about the progress I've made so far in looking and being healthier. I don't seek these compliments, but they make me feel so good when I get them.

I have a long list of people to thank for getting me here (when did this turn into a Oscar speech?):

Juanita, my beautiful wife, for believing in me on the darkest of days when the black clouds build over my head and for always being supportive of me even when it feels like I disappear because I'm training;
Coach Lesley - for having the patience of a saint as I struggled in the beginning and for knowing how to adapt to what I needed to do and for encouraging me to aim big. Thanks for taking all of that knowledge and pouring it into my brain even when I'm a little slow on the uptake (yes, I will eat before the race tomorrow! :) );
Krista - for being a heck of a friend that I've met through training, for sharing goals with me, for listening and advising me, and for inspiring and motivating me through tough workouts;
Christine - for being a marvelous inspiration on how to come back from whatever life throws at you - your strength, dedication, and love of life inspires me every day;
Dawn - Thanks for bringing so much humor into our runs together - you crack me up and make the miles just slide away. Marco! Polo!
Sheena and Elena - You both are inspirations to me the way you can plow through adversity and still bring a smile to your face. And thanks to both of you for (on many occasions) bringing a smile to my face too! You're selflessness is incredible.;
Krista, Dawn, Sheena, and Elena - the village people rock!
Danielle - Thanks for kicking my butt when we work out together - you rock;
Monday morning folks - you know who all of you are - thanks for picking me up on those days when I was down and thanks for all of the support throughout;
The CL team / gang - I've met so many of you and each and every one of you has been a pleasure to know and train with, race with, or just hang out with. There have been helping hands when I fall down (literally), pats on the back, and good will that I feel. Thanks for making me feel included.

I think I hear the Jaws music playing, so I need to get off the stage. There are many more of you out there that have helped me along the way in big ways or small ways and there will be more big moments for me and I'll try to thank you all in person and was as in public.

Mariachi Mile and Santana Row, here I come! Clear the streets - wild, charging buffalo on the loose!

Quick thought of the day

Something to remember when the run gets long, the workout gets hard, or life just throws you a curve ball.

Mistakes

"What do do with a mistake: recognize it, admit it, learn from it, and then forget it" -- Dean Smith

While I wouldn't categorize tonight as a mistake, I went to the pool, started to do my 2500 yd swim, and then I went down with a major migraine headache. I had been feeling cranky and off all day long, and now I know why. I was developing a nasty headache.

I have this Dean Smith (famous basketball coach of the North Carolina Tar Heels for those that don't recognize the name) quote around for a reason. I need to let the failure of tonight go.

Sage advice for most disappointments, mistakes, or otherwise.

What a great day...

Again, apparently, I must learn the lesson of not reading too much into my first feelings about a given run until I get a chance to look at the data objectively. When I walked off the course, I thought I had an OK day, but it turns out I had a fantastic day.

A quick summary of today's results:

• 5K PR shattered
• Ran more, walked less
• Beat my previous time (by a monster amount) on a previous course that was just as hilly
• No pain in the ankle
• And I got to run with a bunch of my new training friends

How good was today?

With a longer course, I shaved 3:38 off my previous PR. If I take the fastest 3.13 miles off the Hot Chocolate Run, I shaved 5:40 off of the Nookachamps run. And Nookachamps was less hilly than the HC 5K! From my 5K just before Christmas it is around seven minutes better!

If I crunch the data even further - with my HR roughly the same as the previous race on a less hilly course, I ran much faster. This is a great sign!

I know I have to work on the self-confidence because I honestly thought I had an OK day, but not this great.

These are the sorts of days that leave me with the the confidence to know that I can conquer Miami and that the full Ironman (looking like Wisconsin) is looking better and better! It's days like this that make all of the difference.

Self-image (AKA Before and After)

People have been after me for a while to post some before and after pictures. I have really been reluctant to do so because, to put not too fine a point on it, I'm embarrassed by both how I looked and how I look now.

Before (Circa November 2010)

All of that being said, here was me a couple of years ago (and frankly about where I was when I started this progression to being an athlete again). Ugh. I'm having a hard time even typing this post looking at the picture right next to the words that are coming out of the keyboard, but I will continue.

Current (Circa March 2013)

I should feel better about where I am at. I just made a business trip to San Jose down to my companies headquarters and saw friends and co-workers that I have not seen in quite a while (several months at a minimum). Almost bar none, each and every one of them asked me what happened to most of me and were amazed or impressed that I had dropped so much weight in this amount of time and generally looked happier and healthier. This is what they see now.

What I think I should look like...

So, why can I not see what they see? To me, I don't see that much of a difference in those pictures, even though there is at least 105 pound difference. This is a real struggle that I have and I'm sure I'm not alone. It seems like there is a large segment of the population that doesn't particularly care for how they look in the mirror or how they look in a picture. Even though there is less of me, all I see are the flaws, I see the extra weight - I see the issues. It can be very discouraging at times. But I also have to realize that this is in my head and when I talk like that to myself, I'm inviting a disaster in the making. I know my body image that I think I should look like is unrealistic... I'm never going to look like Chris McCormack - I have a day job! But that doesn't stop me.

I wish I had answers for those of you reading my blog about what to do. I don't. I just know it's a struggle and the best thing I can do right know is stop looking for flaws and appreciate the fact that I do look better and that I am getting better. At the end of the day, my goal is to finish the race and feel like an athlete - that is what matters. Even though just a few days ago I told people about the quote about not letting your worst enemy live between your ears, this is the challenge that I face - this is my worst enemy. But what I can do is recognize it when it happens and try to break the cycle right then. I don't know that it'll ever go away, but at least if I recognize it and watch it, I can't let it harm me subconsciously. Recognition of the bad behavior at least allows me a chance to stop it before I spiral into self doubt and hatred of myself. I'll settle for a draw right now with my inner enemy.

Sometimes a strategic stalemate is a victory!

New addition to the family!

Weighing in at 1295g, and 79cm tall ... meet my new tri bike. So far I'm calling her Black Beauty (not terribly creative, I know).

I got a screaming deal on this bike which included race wheels that were worth almost $1000.00 by themselves. It's a Quintana Roo CD0.1 all carbon triathlon bike.

This thing fits me like a glove, I probably still have some fine tuning to do, but when I test rode it - I dropped right into the aero bars without a problem. There's still some hip tightness on the right side I need to resolve to get my stroke clean, but that'll come with flexibility and the real bike fit.

It's also NOT a Cervelo P2. The P2 is an awesome bike, don't get me wrong, but it's also what everyone rides. You don't see as many QR bikes out there, so that makes me faster in T-1 because I won't be searching for my look-alike bike, right? Hey, I'm looking for every speed advantage I can get.

The aero bars are excellent because they are totally configurable for my wide shoulders and it's got a lovely set of SRAM Red components on them (including the return to neutral feature which is pretty slick).

I'll need to get a set of normal wheels for the bike to make sure I don't wear out these beautiful wheels.

I love the upgraded saddle as well - ISM saddles rock.

Yes, I'm proud of her and she's a reward and incentive all wrapped up into one. A reward for getting as far as I have so far and completing my first triathlon. An incentive to live up to what this bike is capable of and go fast in Miami. She's going to get her first race break in this summer at Lake Chelan in ChelanMan!

I'm a little behind...

Sorry about that readers ... this week has been pretty busy and I just haven't gotten back to the blog and unfortunately this one will be a little short because I've got to get caught up on my sleep.

All is well. As expected on Monday, I hit one of my major milestones when I blew through the 100 pounds lost mark. Since I started this journey, it's now down 105, but I've blogged about that already. I've had some pretty decent bike workouts this week on both the trainer, and then more importantly outside.

I got out there with Krista, one of my new friends, from my coach's group on Wednesday night and we went out and biked Mercer Island. This is the first time I've probably done any kind of real ride on a bike in close to 15 years (probably when I did my triathlon many years ago). It was hard, but in a good way - I felt tired at the end, but I also felt giddy in a way. I may not have been past, but I went up the hills, even if I had to drop down into the granny gear. I didn't stop and I just kept going. Thanks Krista for giving me that push into the wild blue to get it done. Of course, it wasn't really blue skies as the rain came early and we got soaked! But it was fun anyway.

So where do I stand mentally and how am I feeling. I'm feeling quite good actually. The A.R.T. therapy on my ankle seems to be paying benefits. The ankle is getting more flexible and it hurts less. I'm riding and it felt better (except for one night on the trainer). My running is still progressing. I've got a 5k race this weekend. I've got an 8K race next weekend. I feel like I'm on track to get to Miami and get it done. I know I've definitely got work to do in front of me, but that's expected. What I feel is hope and pride that I've made it this far.

As I've been training and working at my weight loss, I've had good days and I've had bad days and I expect that. The think I'm really working on is to make sure that the bad days are not self inflicted. I think many people have that struggle where the self-doubt kicks in and the voices in your head tell you, you can't do it, you're not worth it, you're a failure, and so on. It's hard sometimes to quiet that voice and make yourself believe that you can. We all have challenges that require us to overcome them and life can throw you curveballs - but what we don't need is making ourselves even more challenged by throwing roadblocks in the way that are of our own creation.

Do I have a magic pill for it or some sage advice, sadly, no. But I found a quote from Laird Hamilton that I have written down and I keep it with me. "Make sure your own worst enemy doesn't live between your own two ears".

T-3 days to the Hot Chocolate 5K
T-10 days to the 408K!

The eagle has landed

Sort of.

It's official now. I've gone to the 100+ lbs lost mark. It's 100 by the official program, but if I go back to the records and look at where I was when I started training for my triathlons, it was another 5.2 pounds higher than that, so I'm calling it 105. It's amazing progress to think that I've cut over 25% of my body weight off. It's actually about 27% and change. I'm now well over half way to my goal racing weight, or at least what I think will be my racing weight.

Let's call this the eagle has executed a touch and go since we're not done yet.

I will have to keep this short because I have an unholy flight at o-dark-early in the AM and I'm already not going to get much sleep. 

On the bike for just over 30 minutes tonight. I wanted to go 45, but I'm still having saddle comfort issues. The good news is that I was doing a much better job of keeping my pacing up around 90.

I'm working on a post about self-image as I've had multiple requests from multiple corners now to post a before and current picture to show the change in how I look. There are struggles I am going to have with doing that, but I will do it - now I just need to actually find such pictures.

I leave you with this thought tonight, it's a bit of a Yoda-ism...

Strength, you have. Heart you have. Fear, you must lose. It's is fear that holds us back from accomplishing great heights.

Crunching the hill numbers

Interesting run today in Discovery Park. Went just under six miles doing two laps of the loop trail in the park. It's a bit of a rolling trail course. Beautiful park though - it's also extremely popular, there was no shortage of other runners, but not in a way that makes you feel crowded or anything.

Please bear with me, reader, while I walk through the numbers to get to the point of what I learned today.

So when I came off the trail and looked at just the raw mile times for the second loop (when I was trying to put out the highest effort), I was a little disappointed because they were not as fast as some of the mile times I had been racking in on the six mile long runs up to this point. However, I've spent the last little bit really teasing apart the data from my 910XT to get a better understanding of what "went wrong". And the answer surprised me a bit.

My best actual time mile was the last almost mile when I was running a 13:19 mile pace. However, that is also mostly downhill (dropped 161 feet and climbed 21). Training peaks calculates a factor they call NGP which is basically taking the elevation gain or loss combined with your actual speed to generate what your pace would be if the terrain were flat. The NGP for that leg was 14:54, not great - but understandable. The next best full mile was a 14:24 actual time, with an NGP of 12:38. It was a rolling mile (+144, -125). Here's the interesting thing about that, it's my best NGP mile yet and I ran almost the whole mile. It also beat my previous best NGP of 13:30 when I did the Cowen park run a couple of weeks ago.

So, what did I learn from crunching all of the numbers. I am getting faster and I am running further. I have to be careful about the wall clock. While in a race, wall clock is all that matters, when I'm training and looking for improvements comparing a flat mile near Green Lake to a rolling mile at Discovery Park is comparing apples to pineapples. Both fruit, but nothing alike. I am definitely getting better and I need to cut myself some slack. Easier said than done, but the numbers do not lie.

I may be sore and tired tonight, but I also am showing improvement.

Back to the run - I run with great people who are very supportive and I hope I show them as much support as they show me on the run.

Tonight is RICE (everything is RICE with me right now!) and recovery. The ankle did OK  but I was having trouble on the up hill on the second lap because it's still weak and it was just getting tired on the run and I couldn't toe off hard to go up the hills.

Worked on fueling practice too. Took a Roctane before starting out, took a GU after the first lap, and then another GU when I finished. I felt like I still had the energy and it was really my heart rate and my ankle that kept me from pushing even harder. This is good though as the strength and cardiovascular endurance will get better and if I keep the muscles properly fueled they won't just completely die on me. As an aside, GU peppermint rocks! I just wish it wasn't just a seasonal flavor! Roctane Cherry Lime is a 6/10. GU Mandarin Orange is a 5/10 (not bad, not great). I'm cycling through some different flavors and types of fueling on the longer bike training and the runs to get more practice in! See, I did learn from my triathlon!

Moral of the story tonight ... be very careful pinning your hopes, measure of success, and self worth on one number. Look at the big picture.

Returning to base course

Not a long entry tonight as I'm pretty tired.

Good core and strength workout tonight with the group. Working out with the group always helps. I actually did better than I had done recently, so that was a nice feeling. My performance in the strength training / core sessions has been getting better. So, that's a good feeling. I know that these strength and core workouts will definitely pay off into the season. And for that matter that they will continue to help drive up my metabolism to shed this weight that I'm still carrying around.

It was really nice getting an spontaneous comment when I was doing a side plank from one of the other athletes on how cool it was that I was all the way up on my side with just my feet on the ground for the whole time. It's really nice what those small comments can do.

My self-confidence is still low, but I've probably bottomed out there and I'm beginning to rebuild it. I hope it's like muscle strength and endurance that you have to break it down and when it comes back it comes back stronger. It also really helps that I have friends all around from my athletic, non-athletic friends, and work that keep providing me little bits of encouragement and strength when I have a week like this.

It's a rest day for me tomorrow which is good. I think that's what I might need to start building back the physical side of me.

Onward and upward. The 408k is just around the corner, the hot chocolate 5k is just before that, and we're picking up steam into the meat of my training and racing season.

Huh... this is unexpected

I'm getting killed by the bike. I was never a super-strong cyclist, but I'm getting destroyed by the bike. I don't get it. My run is improving, yet now my bike is just absolutely awful and I didn't think I was going to have to worry about this - I knew I'd have to train, but now I just don't what's up.

Sorry folks, this is not going to be an uplifting post, I'm not seeing the silver lining tonight.

I can't keep my cadence above 80. When I'm supposed to go maximum effort, I'm nowhere near in my hardest gear. My legs burn out quickly. If I got for a speed cadence drill, I can barely break 100 on the cadence.

I have to average almost 20 mph on the bike for Miami if I'm going to leave myself with enough time on the run and not be a DNF. On the training tonight I can hardly hold 16 mph for any length of time and I'm going to have to do that for three hours.

I got thirty minutes of my one hour bike ride in and I just didn't have it in me.

I'm just going to stop now with this entry as it's just not a happy place tonight.

I suppose this was going to happen, but my spirit is wounded.

The mental struggle

I had no doubt ever that the mental struggle of endurance athletics during competition would be something that I had to learn to cope with. However, that doesn't make it any easier when it crops up during training. Although I suppose that is what training is all about.

Today is rough. I'm just feeling like someone needed to get the license plate of the tank that ran me over. I'm exhausted, my body just aches, and I'm feeling really down. I'm not entirely sure why, but I'm sure it has to do with stress going on all around me. As well, I just feel like I didn't have the run I wanted last night. It's weird, since last night I was feeling OK about it, but now I'm not. I can't tell which is the chicken and which is the egg. Part of me thinks it could be I'm being too self-critical because I'm having a rough day - but it could equally be the other way around.

Argh!

I'm going to get on the bike tonight on the trainer and get my workout in and see if this helps. We'll just go forward and see how it goes. I have to push through - the days are dwindling until Miami and I'm not ready. I will be, but I'm not there yet.

Taking a day off just isn't an option.

First hill workout

Whew! That was different, difficult, but I did it.

We did an about two mile run around part of Green Lake and then did hill repeat drills. I've never done that before, that was a new and interesting challenge. As an aside, that's kind of the fun thing about doing this triathlon training with my coach is that I get to try lots of new things, learn lots of new stuff, and all while getting in shape and improving my life. What a wonderful experience, but I digress. (I digress a lot - whoops, I just did it again)

R.I.C.E for the ankle tonight. 

It was a little sore coming back to the start after finishing the hills, nothing to worry about I believe. Just letting me know it was feeling it. Probably the combination of A.R.T. on the ankle and the run was just enough for it.

I also ran with two of my (now) friends from the coaching group - they did an awesome job (as always!) keeping me pushing myself! They both also have the best attitudes and are so much fun to hang out with, so it makes these workouts something to look forward to and to have fun with instead of just being a workout.

Popped on the scale again today and more weight has come off. 

T-19 days to the 408K which will up the longest road race I've done ever (even before I gained weight and had all of the orthopedic issues). Plus I get to run with friends from California that I don't see nearly enough!

Active release therapy

I have completely become a believer in this therapy. In just two sessions I have regained a couple of degrees of range of motion already! I'm headed out for a group run tonight and I can't wait to see how it goes.

Don't get me wrong, it hurts and the ROM work I am doing is difficult, but results are already coming...

So if you've got scar tissue or mobility issues, I highly recommend giving this a try. It's working wonders for me.

Quote of the day...

There will be days in which it feels like you cannot reach your goals, but instead there is a lifetime that you will have knowing that you did.

Rainman Issaquah 2013 Race Report

Coming to you, well, not live!

The race results are in and things went about as I expected. I'm battling some disappointment with myself about the bike segment and a little about the run. But let's start at the top ...

My wife has been encouraging me to add some pictures to this blog... So we'll give it a try. However, I'm not sure I'm ready to post pictures of me after the event yet ... that's the subject of a different post on another day.

The way the RainMan triathlon works is that it's an indoor triathlon for two of the three legs. The swim is a 15 minute timed swim, followed by a 30 minute timed bike on a calibrated trainer, and then followed by an approximately three mile run. The calibrate the indoor trainer with you and your bikes weight such that everyone evens out on the resistance (it takes more watts to move my bison frame than a lightweight athlete). The distances covered for the swim and bike are then adjusted to what your sprint distance triathlon would be, and viola you have your finishing time.

I'll say this, it was a well run event. The volunteers were all friendly and they definitely were inclusive of all competitors (something I still admire about the sport of triathlon) regardless of the super-fit guys who I got dizzy watching their wheels spin on the bike, or people like me. They cheered me on when I was the last one on the run course coming in. I would recommend this event for anyone that wants to have fun or use it as a learning experience. I'm really glad my coach pointed this race out to me and got me to do it.

This event was held at the Sammamish Club in Issaquah, WA. I got there reasonably early to watch some of the competitors race and get my gear setup. The pool was on the first floor, you run through the locker room up stairs, and then you arrive and your bike, do T-1 and pedal like h-e-double-hockey-sticks. Afterwards, you finish the bike do T-2 and run downstairs and outside for the run.

Way better triathletes than I on the bike... :-) (I'll get there someday)

Here's my steed racked and ready to be put on the trainer (they move the bike to the trainer while you're on the swim). Sorry for the quality, it was a quick snap with the cell phone.

You can see my way over sized transition bag below the wheel. :)

No pictures from the swim with me in it ... I was busy racing.

The swim was pretty straight forward. I wanted to cover around 750 yards to 800 yards during the swim. I got 750 in. So I was on my target. I know I want to be faster in the future, but I'm ok with that result. My swim placing was T21/45. So that put me in the middle of the pack, not a bad place to be.

Unfortunately, it sort of all went downhill from there. My bike was pretty atrocious. I wanted to be up around 17 - 20 mph. I was averaging 13. My legs just were not cooperating. Although I had a really nice T-1 partly because I was prepped well for it and also, I went out and bought a pair of tri-bike shoes that allowed me to get in, no drying off, and just go go go.

Here's a picture from the event with me on the bike ... I'm holding back any comments about how I think I look. (I had a really hard time posting this picture, but as I said that's the subject for another day). To be fair I swiped this picture from the event's website of pictures they took (RainMan Issaquah TriFreaks Photos).

I like to think that look is determination ... you know, sort of like when the bison is about to trample the car on its way to the other side of the road. :)

The bike ended up being 40/45. Anyone else sense a trend?

T-2 and into the run was bad too. As soon as I tried to dismount from the bike, calf cramp! I suffered from cramps for most of the run.

Here's where the run course was, it was a 3 lap course near the club. My running time stank for a race.

The run ended up being, yep, dead last. 45/45.

My final position was 44/45, so I didn't finish dead last overall! We take the small victories where we can.

So in the spirit of intellectual honesty, what went wrong?

The number one problem was fueling. I had a whopping total food intake all day, before a race at 7:40pm, of yogurt and an orange. As well, I just need way more endurance on the bike. I think my run suffered primarily because of fueling, although the triathlon did live up to it's name and the weather poured buckets while I was on the run. Not an excuse, but it will impact time.

Now, I don't want you to walk away from this entry think that I've gone off the deep end and am thoroughly discouraged. I am not. There were many small victories in the race. First of all, I completed one. That's an accomplishment in and of itself. Second, my swim was right on where I thought I was and what I could do. That's good, it's also good that I was able to keep up with the middle of the pack. Third, I've come a long way. In July of last year, this was still a dream and hope. Now it's real. Now I know I can do a triathlon and while I'm targeting longer distances and more challenging events, I know I have the mental capability of doing this and pushing through disappointment. And last, I learned from this. I learned lessons that would have been crushing to learn in one of my "A" races.

Hey, and I'm starting my hardware collection ... Now I just need a spot to start hanging them on the wall in my office.