Dead Last > DNF >> DNS

Let me introduce myself to you, my reader, and also welcome you to my blog.

Who am I? Well, there are so many answers to that question, but let's try a few. I am a big guy. I lovingly refer to myself as a running (almost running) buffalo. I know I'm not a gazelle and I never will be. But I have desire. I have hope. I have determination. I started this journey about 6 months ago in July of 2012 because I had become more than a buffalo. I had reached 6' 3" and tipped the scale at 385.6 lbs when I began this journey. How did I get that big? Lots of choices, some events that I should have controlled better, and just ... well, just because I didn't respect myself.

In June of 2011, I lay in a hospital bed with my wife sitting by the side of the bed with fear in her eyes because she thought I might die. My wife is the strongest, bravest, most level headed person in a crisis I have ever met, yet I saw the fear that I have never seen in her before. In the process of recovering from my 5th orthopedic surgery in 5 years, I suffered two pulmonary embolisms and spent two different stints in the hospital while recovering from that. Laying there, I knew something had to change, but life wasn't quite ready to give me a break yet as I ended up having two more orthopedic surgeries before this journey began - including a 2nd major surgery on my ankle.

Something had to change and when I looked in the mirror, I knew that thing was me. I never wanted to see the fear in my wife's eyes again. I wanted to look in the mirror at myself and see something I was proud of. My family all around me has suffered medical calamity and I knew that I was at the moment when I had to decide how my life is going to unfold. I want to control my own destiny and become an athlete again.

So I made a decision. I decided to become a triathlete. Now in fairness, I've done one triathlon before,  10+ years ago.

Why a triathlon? Great question. When I watch the TV coverage of the Ironman World Championships in Kona, I stand in awe of what each and every one of those athletes has accomplished. And it's not just the professionals whose athletic prowess is amazing. It's the age groupers - the people who finish in 12, 13, 14, 15, 16 hours. The people who have the courage to keep one foot moving in front of the other for that length of time. The person who crosses the finish line at a minute to midnight to the roar of the crowd inspires me. The person who has one leg, no legs, missing limbs who crosses the finish line inspires me.

Which leads us to the title of this entry: Dead Last > DNF >> DNS. I didn't invent this motto, I saw it on the internet (I cannot remember where), but I am taking this to heart. Because I believe the person who has the courage to go out there and put it all on the line, to take the brave first step, to take that first stroke at the sound of the cannon, to continue moving forward and finish is to be admired. It does not matter if they finish dead last, because they finished, and that is far greater than having never had the courage to start in the first place.

I have the courage to start.
I have the will to finish.
I have the strength to carry on.

I have begun. I am already 82 pounds lighter in the last 6 months. I am not done.

What do I want from this blog? I want someone out there who is facing a health challenge, facing a weight problem, facing a lack of self-esteem to read this and find hope. I want at the end of my journey to inspire someone else to take that first step out of the door and try a challenge. Believe in yourself, believe that you can do this. I want to pay forward the inspiration I have found from the uncommon, yet ordinary, people that have overcome challenges and obstacles to call themselves "Ironman". If you are reading this and find yourself wondering what could be, welcome to the club. I think we're getting t-shirts made.

I know I cannot make this journey alone. I am incredibly lucky to have a massively supportive wife. I know this journey will be hard as I will be training many times when I would rather just be with her. One the greatest things I am blessed with is the fact that she wants me to do this. I no longer see the fear I saw when I was lying in the hospital bed, I see pride, strength, and support. So to you, my dear wife - I tip my hat every day.

I am lucky to have found a great coach and trainer to help me and I am lucky to have friends and family around me that encourage me and keep me moving.

This journey does not have an end, but it does have a milestone ... Ironman Miami 70.3 on October 27, 2013. That is my target.

Welcome to my blog and to my journey and thank you for reading this on my long, and what will probably be an interesting, road to Miami.
So the next time you see a big guy huffing and puffing along side the road ... it could be me.
We bison may not be fast, but we are strong.