Today was scheduled to be a rest day anyway, so I'm feeling much less guilty about taking today off from training as compared to the last couple of days. I know it was the right thing to do, making sure that the ankle was healing or healed before I resume my training.
And in case I haven't mentioned it, I have the best coach in the world.
Today I also saw a foot and ankle specialist to evaluate my ankle. News wasn't exactly what I was hoping for or wanted to hear, but we're going to try some lifts on my heels to see if it helps with my running. My gait was definitely off, I knew that - but the comments when the doctor and my coach were watching was fairly enlightening. My coach was with me, as they say, every step of the way. On the bright side, the way my ankle works, I got told it's highly unlikely I'll ever roll it in a way to damage the ligaments. Everything will work out.
All that being said, I'm going to be pursuing lots of options to keep working on the range of motion and flexibility in my ankle. I know it'll never be as good as I want, but I think I can still make it better. Maybe I'm just holding out too much hope on that, but there is no reason that any of these things will hurt. I have recommendations for a PT from my coach and I'm going to give that a whirl - it can't make anything worse. I also am going to have my massage therapist spend some time beating on that scar tissue I think. Again, unlikely to make things worse.
Got new recommendations for shoes, the Brooks Dyad. I picked up a pair. I'm not going to break them in this weekend since I'm trying out the heel lifts in my running shoes. Let's keep the number of variables in play to a minimum. If they work out, next run I'll switch over and try the Dyad. I've been running in the Brooks Addiction and that was also recommended. I like them, but I'm also going to try the recommendations.
It would be easy to get discouraged after a day, or week, like this, but I am not going to surrender so easily. Yes, it would be easy to pitch it away and say that I shouldn't even try. I look at it a little differently. It's not like anyone has told me that doing this adventure, or set of adventures is going to make things worse or cause me to fall apart. In fact, I think the opposite. My goals and this fitness that am I working towards is making things better. Without these goals I'm not sure I would have dropped 90 pounds so far. I'm not sure I'd be able to get to the weight that I want to get to. Dropping all of this weight has to make the ankle better, force is a simple mathematical equation and mass is a variable in that equation. I can't change much, but I can change the amount of mass being applied to that area.
I also look at the human body and believe that it is too easy to underestimate what the human body can compensate for and overcome. My wife and I talked tonight and she made a point that I expanded on. Western medicine is great about preserving life, but not necessarily working towards living. There's a subtlety in there that is an important distinction. I think modern medicine often underestimates what the human body can recover from, deal with, or overcome.
Tonight I watched the replay of last years Ironman World Championships in Kona. There are so many athletes there who have overcome far worse than what I'm facing and dealing with. There are people who have raced and completed the Kona course without legs, or battling ALS, or battling cancer, and other amazing stories. Why? Because the human will can drive the human body to great heights. Do I have any illusion that this will be easy? No. Do I believe that I'll ever be in the top tier of my age group? Highly unlikely. But that doesn't mean I stop, that doesn't mean I give up. I have rambled on enough, but in a future post I'm going to talk about what I believe it means to be called an athlete.
If you've ever seen the musical Man of La Mancha, there is a song with lyrics that I think sums up what I'm trying to say:
"And the world will be better for this:
That one man, scorned and covered with scars,
Still strove, with his last ounce of courage,
To reach ... the unreachable star ..."
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